- May 3, 2021
At a certain point, to get what you want in this life, you’re just going to have to do the things you already know you need to be doing. You’ll have to follow a series of steps you logically understand how to do but don’t do them because there’s some sort of obstacle to overcome. That’s the thing, theoretically, the steps to anything you want to do in life are readily apparent and obvious. You’ll have to break some eggs along the way but you know more or less what to do. It doesn’t matter what the path or goal is, the steps to reaching it are almost always the same.
Phase One – Figure out the landscape of that path. Every path or goal has this research phase where you’re still trying to figure out basic information on how to be successful.
If it’s business you’re trying to figure out what to create, who wants it, and how to sell it. If you want to find a new career you try to get a sense of what your strengths are, what you might want to do, and the sort of qualifications or skills you need to get the gig.
If you’re pursuing some sort of long-term goal like getting in amazing shape this is where you look for the routines, strategies, diets, etc to help you get there. Most people stay in this phase. They’re always researching and thinking about what to do next.
Phase Two – Some people make it to step two. This is the part where you’re actually taking some tangible steps toward an end goal. For me, it was the first couple of month s where I was working on my writing.
I’d often read articles about what it took to become a writer, but I found out what it took by actually writing. And that’s the only way to find out. No amount of speculation is going to help you actually do the thing. None.
We understand this, but we trick ourselves into thinking that speculation works because we need to cope with the fact that we’re not taking any concrete steps. If you can break out of the speculation phase and into the phase where you’re at least trying the path out, you’re already ahead of most people.
So, if you’re there, try to make it to the next step. If not, remind yourself that thinking about what to do hasn’t really helped you do it, has it? Eventually, you’re going to have to put yourself out there or not. It’s up to you whether or not you do that.
Phase Three – Once you’ve spent enough time experimenting and putting in the work, the last step is simple. Wait. You’ll be active, but you have to combine your actions with patience to know that eventually, things will work out.
Truth is, you’re a few years of solid dedication from changing not just your life, but who you are at your core. Just a few short years of your life is all it takes. But, you have to overcome the initial resistance that keeps the vast majority of people stuck in phase one.
You have to make it past the obstacles that knock pretty much everyone out of the race by phase two. Usually, once you’ve spent enough time committed to a certain path, your odds of seeing it through to the end are very high.
But most never make it there because the first two steps often involve a lot of tedious work upfront, a bunch of emotional and psychological resistance in the form of doubt, and little upfront guarantees that it’ll work out.
So, how do you make it through all three phases?
For phase one, you have to find a way to throw yourself into the pool and swim. There’s no substitute for taking the first initial steps. You can get all the motivational content you want, but someone like me can’t literally push you into action. It’s on you to do that. I’m here every week to remind you to take that push. So here’s your chance to do it again,
Start making some concrete steps to get yourself out of research mode and into action mode. The activity simply has to be something above and beyond watching, reading, and studying what to do next. Take one step towards doing it even if it’s something like registering a domain name for a business you haven’t even started yet. Something that sends a signal to your subconscious brain that you’re finally doing something about your dreams.
To make for a successful phase two, I always suggest using a 90 day time horizon to fully immerse yourself in that area and to the most work possible in that time frame. By 90 days, if you’ve been working pretty hard, you’ll have an idea of whether not you actually enjoy what you’re doing. I started writing and never stopped in the first 90 day period. I didn’t have the full confidence I was going to make a living writing, but I knew at a minimum I was going to be practising it for the foreseeable future.
If you make it to phase three, just trust yourself that the results will pop if you keep doing the work. Usually, this isn’t hard to do because you’re already invested, but just know that your success is a literal matter of time. Let your skills and your efforts compound until you see your dreams become inevitabilities instead of possibilities.
As far as dealing with the emotional struggles that come with the entire process? You just deal with it. You deal with it by doing your best to remind yourself that your emotions don’t have to dictate your actions.
You can perform a task without feeling like doing it. You can enter a situation boldly even if you don’t have confidence. You can attempt a path even though you’ve failed at every other attempt and don’t think you can do it now.
Hell, you don’t have to believe in yourself right away. You can earn your belief in yourself by first doing what’s necessary to achieve the goal. and letting the confidence come later. That magical state where you feel fully ready to pull the trigger is never going to come. I promise you that. But, you can still pull the trigger anyway. And literally, the moment after you do it, it’ll hit you.
You already have what you need. And you always have.
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