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Avoiding Confrontation: Does It Serve or Harm You?

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As we breakdown the various aspects of what causes mental health issues, it is essential to acknowledge that most issues arise from our childhood. When unaddressed or unresolved then we create more of the same and things go out of whack. I will write a separate article on how the experiences of our childhood keep replaying in different ways as adults. 

When we consider how far we have come today where discussions on ‘Conscious Parenting’ have started in this decade, it is truly amazing. However, let’s be reasonable; results will only show up in many decades to come in the future. Before we can become ‘Conscious Parents’ we have to do the work on ourselves as fractured adults who grew up without conscious parenting to-date. 

Most parents think that by reading, listening to videos and clips and attending online classes they will become conscious parents. Please do not ‘kid’ yourself as that information is on the ‘how’ not on the ‘what’ and ‘why’. The adult of today must first clear their own baggage before they can become a conscious parent. It is not possible to do that unless you have sifted through, healed, shifted your own inner gremlins and healed your own wounds and distortions. 

Confrontation is one of those extraordinary aspects of our lives that no-one wishes to confront. No pun intended. 

Out of 100 people I engage with, 99. 5 are not only averse to confrontation, but they are also terrified of it. Confrontation and Public Speaking are practically siblings! Doubt you saw it that way now did you? 

Confrontation is an opportunity to resolve and dissolve the past. Click To Tweet

We have been conditioned from childhood that confrontation is ‘wrong’ and that one will hurt someone’s feelings, be deemed disrespectful or cause upheaval if they do it; the safer route is to be dishonest, hypocritical and compromise our integrity. This way we can all live in collective disharmony with mounds of ridiculously unaddressed issues we are trying to hide as if they don’t exist. 

Let me enlighten you, dear reader, these mounds will not disappear like the rabbit in the magician’s hat. Until and unless we learn that ‘Confrontation is an opportunity to resolve and dissolve the past’ and move forward without that particular baggage we will not change the present nor the future narrative.


I have dealt with hundreds of people that cannot resolve their mental health issues as they do not wish to confront their inner mosquitoes nor do they want to confront their outer bugs either. This causes so much turmoil and affects the balance in our minds.

A good therapist can help you see this and work with you to resolve the past. However, collectively its time to change the story on how we view confrontation. By the way, it can be done without being mean and nasty and can in fact be a conversation when done without a need to self-defend! Good luck with practising this in your next encounter!

You might also like: Did You Hear Me? Did You See Me? Did I Say Anything That Mattered?

Tazim Elkington
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