- August 19, 2020
At first, I wanted to pen down a long article but since I don’t want to take up too much of your time, I narrowed my thoughts down to four pieces of advice. Advice which, I believe, if applied, can improve the overall quality of our lives. Well, pull up a chair and get a pen and paper. Class begins right now.
Firstly, It’s okay to be ‘weak’. Don’t let people tell you that “Mwanaume Ni kuvumilia.” If you are going through something unbearable, please open up and seek help. Don’t suffer alone, there is plenty of help that is available.
Secondly, never allow a woman to feed, clothe and accommodate you if she is not your mother or sister. Nothing disgusts a woman like a lazy man who fully depends on her for even the little things like airtime. Yes, she will take care of you for the first few months, but if she doesn’t see any effort from your end, my friend, you will be replaced unapologetically.
Thirdly, if you are a family man, be present for your kids. Find time to talk to them, encourage them and pray for and with them. Don’t be that guy who shows up in the house late at night when the kids are asleep and goes to work at the crack of dawn before they awake. Your children may see you but they don’t know you. They don’t know what it feels like to have a father. Be there for them, read them a book, sing for them, play with them.
If your children are in boarding school, don’t let their mother be the only one gracing every visiting day and every meeting. At least, as a father, show up regularly and personally check their progress as far as academics is concerned. And when you show up, don’t just go carrying a bottle of water and a newspaper. For heaven’s sake, of what benefit is a newspaper full of politics to a young high school child? And who told you that in their school, they’re having a shortage of water? Be a loving, caring and thoughtful father. Carry some snacks and goodies.
Lastly, retire your ego and be empathetic. You and your wife can’t both come from work in the evening drained and tired, then as a man you proceed to sit on the sofa, put your legs on the table, hold in the right hand your phone and in your left hand the remote control then expect your wife to do all the housework. Come on, wake up from your slumber and help your wife out, even if it’s the simplest things like washing the vegetables and slicing the onions. You won’t die and you certainly won’t be a lesser man for it.
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