- May 4, 2021
“Richter, my boy, I am just so excited about the month of May. This is the month we celebrate Mother’s Day. And this one is special because of you”, mama said these words last evening. Like someone who had been stung by a bee, she rose from where she was seated and started dancing to her favourite song, “firirida”. I was left gazing, surprised and shocked. Why was mama behaving like this? This day must be very special.
I didn’t have the patience to allow her to finish her dancing, though to be honest, she is such a poor dancer! I started crying, hoping she could come to rescue my anxiety and continue with the story. I must confess her stories, just like papa’s and Njuri Ncheke’s, are always very interesting.
“Mother’s Day Richter,” she continued while breastfeeding, “is a very special day for all women. It is the day we celebrate life, the role women play in society, but more importantly, it is the day we celebrate love. This year is even more special since you are with us. The previous Mother’s Days have been filled with sadness. It was the day the world reminded me that I did not have you- a child. They would ask: What are you waiting for? You have a job, you have a degree, you have… you have ….They would go on and on, listing all the things they thought were paramount for women to have. You will never be complete without a child, they would say.
But I felt complete.
I felt worthy because I was, and I am.
This world that I brought you into Richter has so many expectations; it has a code written for us to follow. You either abide by it or face harsh consequences. But, you know, that should not be the case!
I know you will grow up very fast, soon hit your 30s, and maybe you probably will have a child. But again, you may very well not have a child! Never ask anyone why they don’t have children. Children are gifts from God. For many reasons, including personal choices, many men and women don’t have children, and they are still complete. They have all it takes to lead, be heard, and be part of this society without judgements.
At this point, however, let me tell you an interesting story, my boy”, mama continues. “In 1999 my mama took mama K to Nyeri town; they came back with a baby the next day. I asked her where they got it from, and of course, like many other conservative parents, she said they bought it at the supermarket. I believed her. I was so naïve. I wondered why she only bought one for mama K and not for us. I wanted a baby at home who I could play with. She promised to bring one from the supermarket, but she never did. I am the last born forever.”
Mama would have continued with this story for long, but I rudely interrupted her with a breast bite. I was exhausted and wanted to listen to more interesting tales, not about Mother’s Day or mama K.
I do hope that when I grow up, mama will be ready to speak about babies and where they come from. Or will I just find the answer on Google? I hope not.
During my 10th birthday, mama and papa better be ready to answer some of these very hard questions. For now, let me enjoy my breast milk and bedtime tales. Happy Mother’s Day to all the mama’s reading this!
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